Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler’s second book “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” (Simon Spotlight entertainment, 264 pages, $24.95) continues to give us a peek in Chelsea’s outrageous life.

Chelsea starts the book from her childhood, giving us a picture of how adorable she was, as she waits for a boy, “I nervously attempted to release my wedgie while waiting for him to catch up. (A futile effort, as it turned out, when wearing two mittens the size of car batteries.)”

She goes on to tell all her classmates that she is going to play the daughter of Goldie Hawn in the sequel to Private Benjamin. Chelsea is tired of her classmates teasing her, and this is her way to get in everybody’s good graces.

As outrageous as that story was at the age of nine, the stories she tells as a woman are even worse.

This book is simply not for the faint of heart. Chelsea faces midgets, a boyfriend that seems interested in a Peekapoo, goes to jail thanks to her sister, and babysits children with sugar highs that attack her, and put buckets of ice cream in her head.

Throughout the craziness Chelsea uses the most logical thing to stay afloat – Vodka, and occasionally pot.

Although the book is easy to read and entertaining, it is a bit of a waste of time. As humorous as she can be during standup, the book is simply not that funny.